Friday, October 31, 2003

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday!今天是我的生日,也是母亲的受难日,爸爸小时候家里穷,他连自己的生日都不知道,一直都是和我一天过生日的,所以今天是一家人的节日。过了今天我就是二十四了,虽然说已经不再像小时候那样对每一个生日有着无比的憧憬和渴盼,总是很郑重地在烛光熄灭的瞬间许下愿望,但我还是盼望今天是一个晴天,远方朋友会给我特别的问候,餐桌上妈妈给我的祝福会实现。下午和妈妈一起去买菜,然后自己做。可惜爸爸不在,不然就一家团圆了。没有酒,pepsi 代之,一样可口:)

关于自己身边发生的种种事情总有种神秘的联系,我一直这样认为。举个例子便可以佐证:2001年7月13号,南下深圳公司报道,开始职业生涯,同日北京申请2008奥运会成功,两年以后7月12日,参加IELTS考试,开始做出国读书的打算。前几天即23号将申请材料9份寄走,邮局的人告诉我大概7 -10天就可以到英国了,我开始估算31号会有什么事情发生,会有学校收到资料给我发确定信吗?可是没有想到刚才打开信箱,躺在里面的却是 nottingham的据信。第一封据信,来得这么快,偏偏在我生日这天来,28号他们收到资料仅仅三天时间就给了我两个多月的努力判了终审,没有说明理由,只有一个抱歉,有种死不瞑目的感觉。心一下就沉下去了,仔仔细细去看,希望是自己的理解有误,可是短短的六行字,我看不到任何还有可能的迹象。 liao去年也申请的nottingham,等来的同样是让人心碎的reject letter,那时我还戏言帮她报仇,结果我也出师未捷身先死了。tigtag上有句名言,据多了就习惯了。但愿这是我的第一封据信,也是最后一封,算是我自己的生日祝福吧!

Sunday, October 26, 2003

又到了深夜十二点,我开始清醒并活动,如个夜行的猫,眼睛中闪着碧绿的光,蹑手轻声地敲击键盘,不想扰到身边已经熟睡的人。带上了headphone,耳畔响起音乐,是首叫raindrops的曲子,小提琴的声音在高音部分不停颤动回旋,悲伤的如同黄昏的秋雨,淅淅沥沥的落在身上,浸入衣服里,漆成红色电话亭旁,女孩看着失散多年情人留下电话的小纸片被打湿,模糊了字迹,难道又要就这么分离,重逢只是为了更加受伤...如果这段音乐配在金城伍gigi的《向左走、向右走》里一定更能让很多女孩子落泪。

简单的初恋,总是上演在薄纱背后,淡淡的蓝色淡淡的粉红,好似可以随便挥去,但薄纱被揭开,原来却是如此鲜艳,你又怎么可以忘记呢。想起几年前在黑黑的学校小录像厅里看张艾嘉的《心动》,反反复复的看,那种懵懂纯真的爱情中有自己的影子,害羞得可爱。现在总看到小孩子们谈恋爱越来越早,换得越来越勤,不知道他们还能不能有上个世纪古董般的那种感觉呢?

Thursday, October 23, 2003

tina去了sohu

完全是在挑战自己的码字本领和胡掰的功夫,来尽义务完成第二篇并可安慰自己不是一个没有长性的人。看到左边日历中灰色的16和23排在一列,感觉挺好玩。


看到tina在chinarne上留言跳槽sohu的it编辑部,感觉有点难过。这是一种奇怪的感觉。虽然你可能在为好朋友的升迁而鼓掌时,同时心中也多少在为自己不变的近况感到落寞吧。接着你会反省自己的行为,抱怨一下为何没有机会的垂青。去网上搜索搜索她的公司,看看在google的结果数目,然后再搜索自己公司的,比较一下;或是马上进入51job,期望着能有一个让自己气宇轩昂的机会。我不是个高尚的人,在看到这个消息后的一个小时里,我干了以上所有的工作。


自从几次失败的面试后,我的自信受到了很大的打击。虽然还是依然觉得自己很能干,但现在不敢贸然出去面试了,因为知道自己心虚了,所以编了各种理由不去找工作,赖在家里看书,等待明年初offers的救赎。表面平静,内心矛盾挣扎。tina是个让人不能小视的女孩,我羡慕的不是sohu的工作,而是她在不断的接近自己的理想,去做一名记者,虽然以前考北大新闻失败了,但也是一种积累。我自己的路呢?希望明年的金融研究生课程可以让我多一点思考的时间。

Thursday, October 16, 2003

虽然不是很清楚Blog的内涵,但我还是被Ziboy的照片吸引。以前也看过类似性质的作品,一组无意识的照片排列开来,你可以从各种角度去理解这些在你身边出现景象的关系,行为意识举止形态被放大或者聚焦,你会因此而或戏疟或震惊。

昨晚无意中看到杨绛在《我们仨》中的文字片断,虽然向来对畅销书相当鄙视,但因为对钱钟书的敬仰以及其夫妇文字的偏爱,我还是搜刮了网上的相关文章看到凌晨四点。《我们仨》是杨绛的回忆录。人生过往几十年,风雨漂泊,幸福苦难酸甜苦辣社会经纬人生百态,如果可以细心敏感的加以观察记录,不用说迟暮的时候可以回味,在这个过程中也可以对周围和自己多出很多感悟认识。

Wednesday, October 01, 2003

About Me

I was born on October 31, 1979, in Anqing Anhei, China, the only son of He Yi Fei and Shi Sheng Hu. I always hope to have brothers or sisters. They could accompany with me to spend my lonely childhood.

My parents both worked for Sinopec . It is a large company and has over ten thousand employees in Anqing branch. I grown up in this large factory park, and also educated in its schools, including kindergarten, elementary school and junior high school . Many of my good friends were known in this period. At an early age, I was instructed in violin beginning from 6 years old and gave up 6 years later. After I graduated from junior high school, I continued my study in Anqing No.1 middle high school , the key school of Anhui province. Since the pressure of university entrance exams, my classmates and I had to bend our heads over studying. We were surrounded by textbooks and test papers. But it was still a happy and worthy three-year, I bagan to play basketball and draw pencil sketch in my spare time.

I attended Anhui University of Finance and Economics in the september of 1997 and received a B.S. degree in marketing four years later. I should say it is one of the most memorable and colorful four years in my life. I learned a lot of things from both books and social life, from my instructors and friends. I played guitar and sang those love songs as all college students did. I paid huge passion for social activities. I have ever served for student union and even found a club with friends. This club ran successfully at last. I did part-time jobs, programming, to earn money. Left footpaths at many places. And felt in love with a charming girl. I always think this four-year is extremely important to me since it makes me grow up and become mature.


After I finished my internship in Shanghai and graduated from the university in 2001, I went to south, Shenzhen , one of the so-called Special Economic Zones, and joined a large company CNNC . Firstly I was selected as a member to prepare for a 2.5 million dollors commerce project and then worked as a financial accountant in the HQ accounting department before I left. I repeat the 9-to-5 life in three-year period. I met almost the same people and did quite similar thing everyday. Although I did well with my work, a unwavering sound from the deepest part of my heart told me “you need change!”

Then I come …